N4 · Giving and receiving
てあげる, てくれる, てもらう: doing favours
favours with the te-form
The three giving verbs after a te-form say who did a favour for whom.
Japanese treats a helpful action as a gift, and uses the same three verbs for it. The te-form plus あげる is doing something for someone else: 妹に宿題を教えてあげました, "I helped my sister with her homework". The te-form plus くれる is someone doing something for the speaker: 友達が駅まで送ってくれました, "a friend saw me to the station". The te-form plus もらう is the speaker getting someone to do something, or having it done: 友達に写真を撮ってもらいました.
The direction rules are those of the plain verbs: てくれる only towards the speaker's side, てあげる never towards it. With てもらう the person who does the favour is marked with に, and the speaker is the subject.
This is where Japanese builds gratitude into its grammar. 友達が手伝いました is a bare report and sounds cold, almost as if the help had not been wanted; 手伝ってくれました says that you were helped and are glad of it. Learners who leave くれる out sound ungrateful without knowing it.
The opposite trap is てあげる to someone's face. It names the act as a favour from the speaker, so 持ってあげます to a teacher or a guest sounds like "I will do you the kindness of carrying it". To offer help, use ましょうか: 持ちましょうか, "shall I carry that?"
The form
stem (regular) stem (irregular) ending auxiliary verb
| teach → teach (for someone) | 教えてあげる |
| teach → someone teaches (me) | 教えてくれる |
| teach → I get (someone) to teach me | 教えてもらう |
| carry → carried (for someone), polite | 持ってあげました |
| help → helped me, polite | 手伝ってくれました |
| read → had (it) read to me, polite | 読んでもらいました |
| come → came (for my sake) | 来てくれた |
The rules one by one
Te-form + あげる: the speaker or their side does something for someone else.
子どもに絵本を読んであげました。I read a picture book to my child.
Te-form + くれる: someone does something for the speaker or their side.
隣の人が道を教えてくれました。The person next to me showed me the way.
Te-form + もらう: the speaker gets someone to do something; that person is marked with に.
友達に引っ越しを手伝ってもらいました。I got a friend to help me move.
The verb keeps its own particles; the person who benefits is not simply added with に.
祖母の荷物を持ってあげました。I carried my grandmother's bags for her.
A closer look
Gratitude and complaint
Because てくれる expresses a favour received, its negative expresses a favour withheld: 誰も手伝ってくれない is not just "nobody is helping" but "nobody will help me", with the speaker's disappointment built in. The form carries the speaker's feelings either way.
てもらう covers a wide range, from a favour asked for to a service paid for. 医者に診てもらう is "to see a doctor", literally "to receive a doctor's examining"; 修理してもらう is "to have something repaired". Where English says "have it done" or "get it done", Japanese says てもらう.
Exceptions and special cases (1)
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the favour is offered directly to the listener, especially to someone older or senior
avoid てあげる; offer with 〜ましょうか, or with the humble お〜しましょうか.
重そうですね。持ちましょうか。That looks heavy. Shall I carry it?
てあげる names the act as a favour from the speaker, and saying so to the receiver's face claims credit for it.
How to spot it
- てあげる
- てくれる
- てもらう
- でもらう
- てくれました
- てもらいました
Example sentences
父が駅まで車で送ってくれました。My father drove me to the station.
美容院で髪を切ってもらいました。I had my hair cut at the hairdresser's.
友達が誕生日を覚えていてくれて、うれしかったです。I was happy that my friend had remembered my birthday.
弟に自転車の乗り方を教えてあげた。I taught my little brother how to ride a bike.
日本人の友達に作文を直してもらいました。I had a Japanese friend correct my essay.
雨の日に、知らない人が傘を貸してくれました。On a rainy day a stranger lent me an umbrella.
7 more example sentences
母にお弁当を作ってもらった。My mother made me a packed lunch.
同僚が仕事を手伝ってくれたので、早く終わりました。A colleague helped me with my work, so I finished early.
友達を空港まで迎えに行ってあげました。I went to the airport to pick up a friend.
誰も手伝ってくれません。Nobody will help me.
医者に診てもらったほうがいいですよ。You should get a doctor to look at it.
妹が部屋を掃除してくれた。My younger sister cleaned my room for me.
店員さんにプレゼント用に包んでもらいました。I had the shop assistant gift-wrap it.
Worth knowing (1)
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てもらう when you pay for it
Services are told with てもらう even when they are paid for: a haircut, a repair, a check-up. English says "I had my watch repaired"; Japanese says, in effect, "I received the repairing of my watch". Without てもらう, 時計を修理しました sounds as if the speaker had done it.
時計を修理してもらいました。I had my watch repaired.
The trap English speakers fall into
Watch out
Offering a favour with てあげる to the person's face puts the speaker above them. Offer with ましょうか instead; to a teacher or a customer the humble お持ちしましょうか is politer still.
Japanese says who did whom a favour; leave it out and you sound ungrateful.
Your turn
9 exercises on this topic. Your answers are checked in the browser; none of them leaves your device.