N4 · Giving and receiving
Asking for a favour: てくれませんか, ていただけませんか
polite requests with the giving verbs
A giving verb turned into a negative question makes a request — and the more indirect it is, the politer.
てください is closer to an instruction than to a favour. To ask a favour, Japanese turns a giving verb into a negative question: 手伝ってくれませんか, literally "won't you give me your helping?" The negative question leaves the listener room to say no, much as English "could you…?" does compared with "please…".
The next step is to make the speaker the subject: 手伝ってもらえませんか, "could I not receive your helping?", with the potential of もらう. Asking whether you can receive something is more indirect than asking whether the other person will give it. With the humble いただく the same shape is the standard polite request: 手伝っていただけませんか.
The forms make a ladder, from friends to strangers and from small favours to large ones: てくれる？, てくれない？, てくれませんか, てもらえませんか, てくださいませんか, ていただけませんか, ていただけないでしょうか. Choose by who you are asking and how much you are asking for.
Two things trip English speakers up. With もらう and いただく the request needs the potential — もらえる, いただける — because it asks whether receiving is possible. And the affirmative question てくれますか exists but is blunter, closer to checking whether someone will do it; the negative is the softer request. With the potential both are common: ていただけますか is perfectly polite, and ていただけませんか a shade softer.
The form
stem (regular) ending auxiliary verb
| to a friend | 手伝ってくれる？ |
| to a friend, softer | 手伝ってくれない？ |
| polite | 手伝ってくれませんか |
| polite, more indirect | 手伝ってもらえませんか |
| respectful | 手伝ってくださいませんか |
| respectful and humble | 手伝っていただけませんか |
| most careful | 手伝っていただけないでしょうか |
The rules one by one
A negative question with くれる asks someone to do something for you.
ちょっと待ってくれませんか。Could you wait a moment?
もらえませんか asks whether you could receive the favour, which is more indirect.
この書類をコピーしてもらえませんか。Could I ask you to copy these documents?
ていただけませんか is the polite request to a superior, a customer or a stranger.
すみません、写真を撮っていただけませんか。Excuse me, would you mind taking a photo of us?
With もらう and いただく the request uses the potential: もらえる, いただける.
明日までにお返事をいただけますか。Could I have your reply by tomorrow?
Among friends, くれる？ or くれない？ with a rising voice is enough.
ねえ、ペン貸してくれない？Hey, can you lend me a pen?
A closer look
Why indirect is polite
A positive question, "will you do it?", is close to checking; a negative one, "won't you?", already allows for a no and so makes it easy to give. Moving from くれる to もらえる goes a step further: the question is no longer about what the other person will do, but about what the speaker is able to receive. The listener is never directly the subject of a demand.
The answer follows the same logic. Agreeing is short: いいですよ, もちろん. Declining is rarely a plain no; it is an apology and a half-sentence that the listener completes: すみません、今ちょっと….
How to spot it
- てくれませんか
- てもらえませんか
- てくださいませんか
- ていただけませんか
- ていただけないでしょうか
- てくれない？
Example sentences
すみません、窓を閉めてくれませんか。Excuse me, could you close the window?
もう少し大きい声で話してもらえませんか。Could you speak a little louder?
駅への行き方を教えていただけませんか。Could you tell me how to get to the station?
申し訳ありませんが、日程を変更していただけないでしょうか。I am very sorry, but would it be possible to change the date?
悪いけど、明日車を貸してくれない？Sorry to ask, but could you lend me your car tomorrow?
この言葉の意味を説明してくださいませんか。Would you kindly explain what this word means?
7 more example sentences
少し静かにしてもらえませんか。Could you be a little quieter?
荷物を預かっていただけませんか。Could you look after my luggage?
今度の土曜日、引っ越しを手伝ってくれない？Could you help me move house this Saturday?
もう一度説明していただけますか。Could you explain that once more?
ここに住所を書いてもらえますか。Could you write your address here?
明日の会議に出ていただけないでしょうか。Would it be possible for you to attend tomorrow's meeting?
すみませんが、席を代わっていただけませんか。Excuse me, would you mind swapping seats with me?
Worth knowing (1)
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Asking someone not to do something
The negative goes on the action, not on the request: 吸わないでもらえませんか, 触らないでいただけませんか. The request itself stays a negative question, so the sentence contains two negatives, and both are needed.
写真を撮らないでいただけませんか。Would you mind not taking photographs?
The trap English speakers fall into
Watch out
The request asks whether the speaker can receive the favour, so it needs the potential いただける. いただきませんか is an invitation — "shall we (humbly) receive…?" — and makes no sense here. The same goes for もらえませんか and もらいませんか.
The more indirect the question, the politer the request: くれませんか, もらえませんか, いただけませんか.
Your turn
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