N3 · Giving and receiving
さしあげる, くださる, いただく: giving with respect
the respectful giving verbs
When a superior, a customer or a stranger is involved, each giving verb has a respectful partner.
Each of the three verbs has a counterpart for people the speaker should show respect to. あげる becomes さしあげる, humble: the speaker gives up to someone respected. くれる becomes くださる, honorific: a respected person gives to the speaker. もらう becomes いただく, humble: the speaker receives from a respected person. 先生に本をいただきました and 先生が本をくださいました describe the same gift.
くださる is irregular: its ます-form is くださいます, not くださります, and its imperative is ください — the word in every てください. いただく and さしあげる are regular.
After a te-form, ていただく and てくださる thank a respected person for a favour: 先生に推薦状を書いていただきました, 部長が駅まで送ってくださいました. Both are extremely common. てさしあげる is rarer: like てあげる, it announces a favour, and to the person's face the humble お〜する is used instead.
The mistake English speakers make is to aim respect at the wrong people. The respect goes to the outsider, never to your own side: talking to a customer, a gift from your father is 父がくれました, not くださいました. And いただく has the subject of もらう — the receiver — so it cannot describe what the teacher did.
The form
| I give (up to you): humble | あげる→さしあげる |
| you give (to me): honorific | くれる→くださる |
| I receive (from you): humble | もらう→いただく |
| くださる, polite form | くださいます |
| a favour received, humble | 書いていただく |
| a favour given, honorific | 書いてくださる |
The rules one by one
さしあげる is the humble form of あげる: the speaker gives up to someone respected.
お客様に新しいカタログをさしあげました。I gave the customer the new catalogue.
くださる is the honorific form of くれる; its ます-form is くださいます.
社長がお祝いをくださいました。The company president gave me a present to celebrate.
いただく is the humble form of もらう: the speaker receives from someone respected.
先生から丁寧なお返事をいただきました。I received a very courteous reply from my teacher.
After a te-form, ていただく and てくださる thank someone respected for a favour.
部長に資料をチェックしていただきました。The department head kindly checked the documents for me.
Respect goes to outsiders; your own family is spoken of with the plain verbs.
父がこの時計をくれました。My father gave me this watch.
A closer look
Why ていただく is everywhere
Polite Japanese likes to put the speaker in the position of a grateful receiver. That is why ていただく turns up in every shop, office and station: 来ていただいて、ありがとうございます, "thank you for coming", is literally "thank you for my receiving your coming". The speaker is the subject, and the speaker is lowered.
てくださる describes the same favour with the benefactor as the subject, raising them instead. In thanks the two are interchangeable: 来てくださって and 来ていただいて are equally polite. In requests they take different shapes: てくださいませんか asks the other person directly, while いただく goes into the potential, ていただけませんか, which is the standard polite request.
Exceptions and special cases (1)
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くださる is in the ます-form or the imperative
the る becomes い: くださいます, ください — not くださります.
先生はいつも丁寧に教えてくださいます。Our teacher always explains things carefully for us.
くださる belongs to a small group of polite verbs — with いらっしゃる, おっしゃる, なさる and ござる — that all do this.
How to spot it
- さしあげる
- くださる
- くださいます
- いただく
- いただきました
- ていただく
- てくださる
Example sentences
先生に辞書をいただきました。My teacher gave me a dictionary.
課長がお土産をくださいました。The section manager gave us some souvenirs.
田中様にお礼の品をさしあげました。We gave Mr Tanaka a gift to thank him.
教授に推薦状を書いていただきました。My professor kindly wrote me a letter of recommendation.
社長が駅まで送ってくださいました。The company president kindly took me to the station.
先生にいただいた本を、毎日読んでいます。Every day I read the book my teacher gave me.
7 more example sentences
素敵なプレゼントをいただき、ありがとうございました。Thank you very much for the lovely present.
社長からお手紙をいただきました。I received a letter from the company president.
お忙しいところ、来てくださってありがとうございます。Thank you for coming when you are so busy.
先輩に仕事のやり方を教えていただきました。A senior colleague kindly showed me how to do the job.
このパンフレットは無料でさしあげております。These brochures are free of charge.
部長が私の意見を聞いてくださいました。The department head kindly listened to my opinion.
皆様にご協力いただき、無事に終わりました。Thanks to everyone's help, it went off without a hitch.
Worth knowing (1)
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いただきます at the table
The word said before a meal is this same verb: いただきます, "I humbly receive". It is said even when nobody present cooked the food, and it is one of the few places where a learner uses humble language every day without noticing.
では、いただきます。Right then, let's eat.
The trap English speakers fall into
Watch out
いただく is the humble form of もらう, and its subject is the receiver. With the teacher as the subject, the verb must be くださる — or keep いただく and make yourself the subject: 先生に本をいただきました.
Up to you is さしあげる, from you to me is くださる, and me receiving from you is いただく.
Your turn
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