N4 · Giving and receiving
あげる, くれる, もらう: who gives to whom
the verbs of giving and receiving
あげる gives away from me, くれる gives towards me, もらう is receiving — and "me" includes my own people.
English "give" does not care which way the gift travels. Japanese does. あげる is used when the gift moves away from the speaker, or between other people, and the receiver is marked with に: 私は妹に本をあげました, "I gave my younger sister a book". くれる is used when the gift moves towards the speaker: 友達が私に花をくれました, "a friend gave me flowers".
もらう tells the same event from the receiver's side. The receiver is the subject, and the giver is marked with に or から: 私は友達に花をもらいました, "I got flowers from a friend". It is the same moment as the くれる sentence, seen from the other end.
"Towards the speaker" includes the people on the speaker's side: family, close friends, and — when talking to outsiders — one's own company. 田中さんが弟にゲームをくれました uses くれる because the younger brother counts as "us".
The mistake English speakers make is to use あげる for every gift. 友達が私にあげました is impossible: あげる never moves towards the speaker. When the giver is somebody you should show respect to, the three verbs have politer partners, and for animals and plants many speakers use the plain やる.
The form
| I give (to someone) | 私は友達に本をあげる |
| someone gives (to a third person) | 田中さんは山田さんに本をあげる |
| someone gives (to me) | 友達が私に本をくれる |
| someone gives (to my family) | 友達が弟に本をくれる |
| I receive (from someone) | 私は友達に本をもらう |
| I receive (from someone), with から | 私は友達から本をもらう |
| to animals and plants | 犬に餌をやる |
The rules one by one
あげる: the gift moves away from the speaker, or between other people.
父の日に、父にネクタイをあげました。I gave my father a tie for Father's Day.
くれる: the gift moves towards the speaker, or towards someone on the speaker's side.
祖母が私にセーターをくれました。My grandmother gave me a jumper.
もらう: the receiver is the subject, and the giver is marked with に or から.
誕生日に彼から時計をもらいました。I got a watch from him for my birthday.
With くれる, "to me" is usually left out: the verb already says it.
隣の人がりんごをくれました。My neighbour gave me some apples.
A closer look
Who counts as "me"
Japanese divides people into those on the speaker's side and those outside it, and the giving verbs follow that line. A teacher giving something to your son is くれる, because your son is on your side: 先生が息子に本をくれました (to an outsider you would say it more politely, with くださいました). Between two people of your own family, the neutral choice is あげる: 母が妹に服をあげた.
Because the verb carries the direction, a Japanese sentence can leave almost everything else out. くれた on its own already says "(somebody) gave (it) to me", and あげた "(I) gave (it) to (somebody)". That is one reason Japanese can drop subjects and objects so freely without becoming unclear.
Exceptions and special cases (1)
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the receiver is an animal or a plant
many speakers use やる instead of あげる: 花に水をやる, "to water the flowers".
毎朝、金魚に餌をやります。I feed the goldfish every morning.
あげる began as a humble verb ("to raise up to") and still shows a little regard for the receiver; やる is the plain verb for giving downwards. Many people today say あげる to their pets as well, and both are heard.
How to spot it
- あげる
- くれる
- もらう
- やる
- 〜に〜をあげる
- 〜が〜をくれる
- 〜からもらう
Example sentences
友達の結婚祝いに、二人に食器をあげました。As a wedding present for my friend, I gave the couple some tableware.
兄が古いパソコンをくれました。My older brother gave me his old computer.
会社からボーナスをもらいました。I got a bonus from my company.
田中さんは山田さんにチョコレートをあげました。Mr Tanaka gave Ms Yamada some chocolate.
この本、誰にもらったの？Who gave you this book?
近所の人が娘にお菓子をくれました。A neighbour gave my daughter some sweets.
7 more example sentences
誕生日に何をもらいましたか。What did you get for your birthday?
この傘、あげます。私はもう一本ありますから。Have this umbrella. I've got another one.
先輩がコンサートのチケットをくれた。One of my seniors gave me a concert ticket.
旅行のお土産を同僚にあげました。I gave my colleagues souvenirs from my trip.
留学生は大学から奨学金をもらっています。The international student receives a scholarship from the university.
弟に古いギターをあげた。I gave my younger brother my old guitar.
誰がこのカードをくれたんですか。Who was it that gave me this card?
Worth knowing (1)
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Two sentences, one event
Every gift to the speaker can be told twice: from the giver's end with くれる, and from the receiver's end with もらう. 姉が辞書をくれた and 姉に辞書をもらった describe the same moment; the first makes the sister the subject, the second the speaker. Japanese speakers often prefer もらう, which keeps the speaker at the centre of the sentence.
姉に辞書をもらいました。I got a dictionary from my older sister.
The trap English speakers fall into
Watch out
あげる never moves towards the speaker. When a gift reaches you or your people, the verb is くれる — or turn the sentence round and say 友達にもらいました.
Away from me is あげる, towards me is くれる, and もらう is me receiving.
Your turn
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